Response 13: "Gender Asymmetry And Erotic Triangles"

I liked this reading because it has an interesting argument that “even heterosexual relations in literature and culture often take their structure not only through the relation between women and men, but also, and especially, through men’s relations to each other” and that “the desired woman…gives the desiring man status with other men, a trophy, a sense of victory and power….over observing, envious, or rival men” (321). While it is true that sometimes rivalry between the males is what shapes their actions perhaps to figure out each other’s strategy because neither wants to lose the woman. In a way, it’s a little sad that there is more emphasis on the rival and figuring out their strategies etcetera. It also made me question if either male rival ever spends as much exhaustive intellectual effort in regards to the woman of interest. Honestly, if she were portrayed as intellectual and powerful (and if she was aware that both of them were fighting over her), many stories where patriarchy and this “relationship” between the men would not exist; because if she was intelligent and strategic, she would pair up with the man she was interested in and they would scheme together on how to defeat his rival together.

While I can understand the reasoning behind the first quote, I’m not entirely convinced on the declaration that “’The total relationship of exchange which constitutes marriage is not established between a man and a woman, but between two groups or men, and the woman figures only as one of the objects in the exchange, not as one of the partners’” (324). However, I can see this statement being more applicable to societal structure more in 1985 than today. At the same time, I do have to admit that this structure still does exist in some areas of the world. Even in arranged marriages, the agreements are primarily between the parents (of the male and female) or agreements are between the male and the parents on both sides.